Twisting and Turning
Gosh. Time flies. I was determined last time I wrote that I wouldn't let myself go one day without writing at least a little of what's going on in my life (That turned out well as you can see). Pfff. So I'm going to try that again. I need to write. It's the only way I can vent at this time. I can't vent to my parents because they already have enough concerns of their own. I can't vent to my brother because, well, he's the most unsympathetic person I have ever met and he hates moping or groaning (even when it's well merited-like in my case of course). I can't mope to my friends because the one's I have right now aren't the kind you go sharing your struggles or problems with. Unfortunately that is the downside of studying all the time and being locked-up in the library day in and day out. I mean, if there ever was a prison for me, it's Alkek. Trust me, I'd rather be building lasting relationships instead of just making casual acquaintances but that's slipped to the bottom of my "to-do" list ever since Chemistry became the love of my life.Speaking of love and lasting relationships and the such...I'm at the stage in my life where I'm starting to REALLY notice my "singleness." It seems as though everyone around me has a sweetheart relationship or is dating or is engaged or is married. This has never bothered me before. But now it is. A little. Well, like 45% not bothered, 55% bothered. That's considerable, right? I feel like I'm not being let in on a secret or something. Like I'm not happy with my current status. I'm not UNhappy. But I'm not ecstatic either. I've always loved being single with a philosophy of "it'll happen when it happens." But it HASN'T happened. In a while. Why? Is something wrong with me? Are my eyes crooked? Does my breath smell? Am I too aggressive? Yea. That's it. No. Can't be. Hmmm? And I know drama is the last thing I need right now (I mean, it's a miracle I'm even back into school)! I don't want to lose focus just because I "think" I need a relationship because I "think" I missing out on something.
posted by Becca @ 10:21 AM
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