I can barely keep my eyes open
Me and Trini had an epiphany today on the long ride home to Austin. We came to the conclusion that we are both over-achievers. Way way way over-achievers. I mean, it all makes sense now! The way I pick up little hobbies here and there and then suddently drop them like a hot potatoe for yet another opportunity to excel at something else. There was that one time in high-school when my friends introduced me to swing dancing and how I became really good at it for awhile. Can I swing dance now though? Nope. Then when my brother started playing an instrument, I wanted to play an instrument too. But I wasn't satisified with just playing an instrument, I had to be the best. And sure enough I was always 1st chair in middle-and-high school. I saw my mom crocheting once and asked her to teach me. Not only did I learn, but I could probably start my own successfull business. I can make practically anything: Purses, scarfs, hats, belts, baby clothes, blankets. I'm pretty much all practiced up for grandmahood! And of course there are always my jobs...I remember at Dell I would just beat myself up for not being the top sales rep. And when I worked for the Health and Human Services Commission I worked so hard to be the best that I actually became a boss. AHHHHHHHH.Why am I like this? I hate this about myself! I don't know why I never realized this before?!?! I totally, most assuredly, positively, without a doubt, am an over achiever. And it totally sucks. I want to be good at everything and beat everyone else at it. It's sooo exhausting. I'm tired. No really. TIRED. But I can't stop. Where do I begin? Is there some kind of rehab for this? Should I pratice being lazy and more laid back? Even at parties I'm such an attention-whore. I enjoy being the person that breaks the ice among the crowd and being the center of attention. I don't want to be like this anymore. I have got to tone it down! I was asking God the other day, "Why did you make me like this God? My personality has got to be the hardest personality for you to mold." Truly. As Christians, were taught to whole-heartedly depend on God for strenght and direction. We're taught that building relationships and sharing burdens with one another is what we're called to do to be part of the body of Christ (in a sense, depend on other people). If this so, then why would He design a personality that naturally desires the exact opposite of that (independence)? Well. I'm definitely asking him that one when I go to Heaven.
posted by Becca @ 2:46 PM
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